Kid who wanted shit art supplies can't believe his f**king luck

Kick a bastard out of your family, urges King in Christmas address

Seven American Christmas traditions that make Britons think 'F**k that'

Six terrible lifelong sexual deviancies caused by delaying opening presents until after dinner

Five people who are worse than me because they're hypocrites, actually, by Andrew

The stoner's guide to staying baked all Christmas

We ask you: what have you forgotten to get from the shops?

Stranger Things marathon to ruin grandmother's Christmas

Santa Avoids Plate of Cookies Left Out by Erin Patterson

Woman with black, square head furious she's been outed in Epstein files

'Our summer highlight was John getting a suspended sentence': A Christmas round robin from a rough family

If Chris Rea wished to be known for his other work, he chose an inopportune time to leave us

Twelve obsessive Christmas details to get right or you've failed as a mother and a woman

M&S offers glimpse of middle-class hell

Labour to outlaw traditional boiling lobster hunts

Fa-La-La-Laughs To Help You Through The Holidays

Jesus wants to have a quiet one for his birthday this year

Report: millions of women just letting men put gross willies in them

Without a James Bond, a Doctor Who, Strictly presenters and a prime minister, Britain is defenceless

'Go on, it's Christmas!' says woman treating herself to affair

This week in Mash History: Prince Albert is given an intimate piercing voucher for Christmas, 1860

Brooklyn Beckham 'an ungrateful little shit'

English Parents Decide It’s Time To Tell Their Kids That Bazball Isn’t Real

Worst part of Christmas in London is singing chimney sweeps on every corner

Kelly LeBrock, and other sex symbols who appeared only in the most awful of films

If you are not already in a 22-mile tailback on the M5, you have missed Christmas

Awkwardly tapping the wrong bit of the contactless card reader to stay, say banks