THE Oscars have been announced, and by law you are required to watch a film nominated for Best Picture. Which one are you grimacing your way through? 

Tom Logan, brand storyteller: “Is this a trick question? Whichever is available for no extra cost on streaming services I currently subscribe to. Obviously.”

Donna Sheridan, fly-tipper: “Like most of the world I have not even the slightest interest in Formula One, so I can’t wait to see this film version.”

James Bates, optician: “I watch a Best Picture nominee then a Best Director nominee then a Best Actor nominee. So I’m watching One Battle After Another after One Battle After Another after One Battle After Another.”

Oliver O’Connor, internet reseller: “Marty Supreme for me. The story of a hypebeast who queues every Thursday for Supreme drops before selling them online has such resonance with my life.”

Norman Steele, charabanc refurbisher: “Train Dreams. Which I assume is the big-budget arthouse remake the lurid Lovecraftian nightmare of Chuggington so richly deserved.”